Ok, finally got around to changing the introduction text. But as you can see, I'm too sianz to write a proper one, so am going to blabber on in hopes that you will get an idea of what sort of person I am by guessing. Yeah, the format of this blog is crap. I haven't got around to fixing it. Later lah.. Much later...
I will give you the benefit of the doubt, I will trust your word. I will think the best of you, because you are the reflection of my judgment. If I were to blame you, I will have to blame myself equally. Even if you do do something wrong to me, I forgive easily. And I will not make things difficult for you if I can.
Truthfully speaking, you could probably walk all over me if you play your cards right. I don't calculate - the only payment I want is you.
But don't:
1) Push me away.
As you have your pride, I have mine. What do you expect me to do? Beg the charity of your company? However much I want to keep relations with you, if you slight my company, then don't expect me to offer it again, and again. I'm nobody special. I'm nobody better, or stronger, or more understanding - I too get tired of disappointments.
2) Disrespect me.
Relationships to me is based on mutual respect. I'm not your pet, servant or China bride. I'm not there so you can feel better about yourself by putting me down. Likewise, I'm not going to be a blank wall with a mirror so you can primp and preen. I have a self. If you can't see the value in my self or opinions, then whether it be your fault or mine, maybe I should go away.
ME signed off at 12:44 AM
114th entry
A friend once told me what my problem is - I refuse to accept what I don't understand. I take logic to the extreme, and dismiss what cannot be explained.
But the flaw is: Sometimes it is not that there lacks logic, but it is that I lack understanding.
I simply at that moment, cannot see the reasoning. I didn't understand before why certain people act that way in certain situations. I saw it as stupid, as trite. Why make yourself miserable, why don't people act in a way that makes the most sense? They couldn't explain it to me, so I dismissed them. Now I'm older and I see it now. I've been through it, I understand people a little better now.
Too young, never put in those shoes - whatever it is, I hadn't been taught those laws of life yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll be a little more open to listening to the rational behind the seemingly irrational behaviours of life.
